The Butterfly Effect
i pray for prey cause i know what it feels like to be hunted
haunted by a thousand lies
a thousands lives lost daily to the lack of truth
haunted by intrusive thoughts ready to rot away my reality.
facts seem false when feelings are involved
let me tell you a story
one day i walked outside to take trash out
the sun felt good on my skin so i stayed
battling w a thought bigger than myself i got into a dialogue with an audience that didn’t exist
as i paced back and forth on stage i stumbled upon a lesser play
a butterfly in disarray caught in a web flapping ferociously to get away but ultimately stuck.
the spider not too far away waited as the butterfly played its favorite song strumming the webs w fear joined with the whistling of the wind, wings working overtime no grace in its pace just regret over its past sins
then all of a sudden
the butterfly stopped.
tired, almost defeated, accepting that it probably won’t win, it was still.
then the wind blew once again and the spider began to move. the song of terror grew louder and
before i continue allow me to tell what went through my mind as this scene unfolded
i wondered if God had a message for me was i getting scolded. was i butterfly or the spider ?
i wondered should the butterfly be set free and given a second chance at life or should the spider be rewarded for its patience. i thought what is this trying to teach me ? of all the moments i could’ve came outside why now ? should i let nature take its course or should i impose my decision. am i not apart of nature ? but back to the story
the song of terror grew louder and the spider prouder of its work the web intricate and interwoven sticky yet still moving with the wind then i felt a force so delicately powerful i was taken aback a surge of adrenaline rushed through the butterfly as it decided it won’t go down without a fight, i, inspired still contemplating on a decision picked up a stick but still didn’t take action, the spider salivating greeting the butterfly w salutations but also good byes, and the helpless butterfly try and try as it might would not win this fight still trying to fly still trying not to die. i moved by this determination saw the spider now as the villain, decided i would play God. but wait then i thought God provides. and if god provides how long have this spider been waiting, when was the last time it has eaten but then i thought of my name sake joshua translates to god saves so i must save this butterfly with each passing thought each passing second the spider edged closer and i frozen in thought. like the butterfly i was caught in a web of analysis paralysis. and the idea of the death of something so beautiful dying due to my lack of action swelled up in me and in one motion i pierced the web w the stick in my hand. the stick was stuck. so i pulled back still stuck. then i pushed into where the butterfly was tearing the shackles off it setting it free it flapped violently into safety. the spider now gravely disappointed began to walk back up its web thinking of its next steps. simply to repair the web for its next victim.
i looked beyond the gate where the butterfly was and saw what seemed like a mating dance between the newly free butterfly and another. it’s appreciation for life renewed.
so am i satisfied with my actions ?
truthfully a fraction of is not and still calculating the right answer.
except now that i’ve chosen i am set free. i wonder what consequences will occur? i wonder if there butterfly w tell this story, will the spider share its story?
should i share this story ?
facts seem false when feelings are involved
haunted by intrusive thoughts ready to rot away reality.
a thousand lives lost daily to the lack of truth
haunted by a thousand lies
i pray for prey cause i know what it feels like to be hunted but hunters need prayers too
what would you do
set the butterfly free or
let the spider eat
who was really the villain this story
haunted by a thousand lies
a thousand lives lost daily to the lack of truth
haunted by intrusive thoughts ready to rot away my reality.
facts seem false when feelings are involved
who was really the villain here
haunted by a thousand lies
a thousands lives lost daily to the lack of truth
haunted by intrusive thoughts ready to rot away my reality.
facts seem false when feelings are involved
let me tell you a story
one day i walked outside to take trash out
the sun felt good on my skin so i stayed
battling w a thought bigger than myself i got into a dialogue with an audience that didn’t exist
as i paced back and forth on stage i stumbled upon a lesser play
a butterfly in disarray caught in a web flapping ferociously to get away but ultimately stuck.
the spider not too far away waited as the butterfly played its favorite song strumming the webs w fear joined with the whistling of the wind, wings working overtime no grace in its pace just regret over its past sins
then all of a sudden
the butterfly stopped.
tired, almost defeated, accepting that it probably won’t win, it was still.
then the wind blew once again and the spider began to move. the song of terror grew louder and
before i continue allow me to tell what went through my mind as this scene unfolded
i wondered if God had a message for me was i getting scolded. was i butterfly or the spider ?
i wondered should the butterfly be set free and given a second chance at life or should the spider be rewarded for its patience. i thought what is this trying to teach me ? of all the moments i could’ve came outside why now ? should i let nature take its course or should i impose my decision. am i not apart of nature ? but back to the story
the song of terror grew louder and the spider prouder of its work the web intricate and interwoven sticky yet still moving with the wind then i felt a force so delicately powerful i was taken aback a surge of adrenaline rushed through the butterfly as it decided it won’t go down without a fight, i, inspired still contemplating on a decision picked up a stick but still didn’t take action, the spider salivating greeting the butterfly w salutations but also good byes, and the helpless butterfly try and try as it might would not win this fight still trying to fly still trying not to die. i moved by this determination saw the spider now as the villain, decided i would play God. but wait then i thought God provides. and if god provides how long have this spider been waiting, when was the last time it has eaten but then i thought of my name sake joshua translates to god saves so i must save this butterfly with each passing thought each passing second the spider edged closer and i frozen in thought. like the butterfly i was caught in a web of analysis paralysis. and the idea of the death of something so beautiful dying due to my lack of action swelled up in me and in one motion i pierced the web w the stick in my hand. the stick was stuck. so i pulled back still stuck. then i pushed into where the butterfly was tearing the shackles off it setting it free it flapped violently into safety. the spider now gravely disappointed began to walk back up its web thinking of its next steps. simply to repair the web for its next victim.
i looked beyond the gate where the butterfly was and saw what seemed like a mating dance between the newly free butterfly and another. it’s appreciation for life renewed.
so am i satisfied with my actions ?
truthfully a fraction of is not and still calculating the right answer.
except now that i’ve chosen i am set free. i wonder what consequences will occur? i wonder if there butterfly w tell this story, will the spider share its story?
should i share this story ?
facts seem false when feelings are involved
haunted by intrusive thoughts ready to rot away reality.
a thousand lives lost daily to the lack of truth
haunted by a thousand lies
i pray for prey cause i know what it feels like to be hunted but hunters need prayers too
what would you do
set the butterfly free or
let the spider eat
who was really the villain this story
haunted by a thousand lies
a thousand lives lost daily to the lack of truth
haunted by intrusive thoughts ready to rot away my reality.
facts seem false when feelings are involved
who was really the villain here