The Weight Of His Thoughts

This was fun to paint ! 

The Weight of His Thoughts acrylic on canvas. 

Tet Chaje 

li ap panse:

The weight of his thoughts
typically tip the scales of his faith in his favor, 
a few pounds of relief released in a breath, a sigh. 
but today the weight of his thoughts are 
heavy
some of them are deadly 
he thinks
he ponders
he spirals…

“pull yourself together” he says to himself 
as he 
questions his worth, 
as he 
wishes for wealth 
as he 
dreads another day of work… 
every
day. 

he has faith that his fire will come back 
eventually 
but today 
the weight of his thoughts weigh a ton. 
bills, art, rejection, love, Haiti, ICE, current events, holding space for others but not himself. so it’s hard to vent
so he sighs. 
his hand and wrist cramping holding his head high up in the clouds 
lost in thought 
lost in memories and imagination 
spiraling through emotions 
feeling stuck 
lost for words outside of “what the fuck”
he’s tired. 

so he sits. 
and he thinks, 
molding the mental clay into a future of his choice 
that gets affirmed through his voice. 
one where he gets to play. 
one where he gets to say 
“today my thoughts aren’t that heavy.”

He prays for the day he can choose how much his thoughts weigh.